Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
