dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
