You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
