He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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