i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
