Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
