What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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