remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
