I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
