I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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