32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
