I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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