M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
