please come you make the beer taste better
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
