Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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