You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
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This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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