8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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