but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
