she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My dick has a subreddit
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
