you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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