Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
