There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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