we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
