I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
