So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
