Do you still have your period?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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