The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
