I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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