i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
