i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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