please come you make the beer taste better
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
