K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
