there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
