i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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