I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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