I murdered the dance floor call the cops
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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