Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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