There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
