never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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