She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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