I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize