The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
not ubering you a puppy
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize