He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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