I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
