oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
