the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
