i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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