Dual....:-)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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