I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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