She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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