I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
