Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
