I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
