i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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