rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize