3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
