Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
