Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
