do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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