I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
