we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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