why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
