she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
