My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
