He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
